Skip to main content

Sleepless in Grand Rapids

Last night I couldn't get to sleep no matter how hard I tried. Again, it was one of those times where I couldn't shut my mind off. It also might have had something to do with how hot it was outside. All I could do was lay there. I didn't even feel like turning on my TV. It was around 3 o'clock in the morning and I knew what would be on, the oh so wonderful infomercial.

I have determined that there are specific categories of infomercials. The most prevalent of these categories is the exercise or fitness related infomercial. They consist of a group of overly energetic smiling sweaty people. Their goal is to make you believe that if you work out for only 30 minutes a week as hard as you possibly can, then you can eat whenever you want with no consequences to speak of. Another kind of fitness related infomercial is the one that tries to sell its audience exercise equipment. I think these are the ones that make me the angriest because I swear that I've seen some of these "real live customers" inside the pages of Men's Health magazine.

The next type of infomercial out there are the "food" themed ones these infomercials make the American public almost totally inept.  They make slicing potato look like the most challenging thing in the world. What I want to know is, why do advertisers have to make people feel bad about themselves in order to sell a product? It seems like there should be an easier way to go about things. It occurs to me well writing this, that these are the kind of topics I contemplate well trying to go to sleep. Then I realized that it was no wonder that I couldn't go to sleep. Thinking about the manipulative nature of the American advertising industry would turn anybody into a complete insomniac.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Date with Modern Art

A Date With Modern Art CHARACTERS BILL ANNA SETTING Just inside the doors of a modern art exhibit. A Date With Modern Art [BILL and ANNA have been at the modern art exhibit for just under an hour.   They are classmates who were assigned to critique the positive aspects of a particular sculpture for an Art 101 class.] BILL Why exactly do we have to do this again? ANNA Because Professor Wells wants us to and we both need the extra credit. BILL I don’t need anything.   I just came along because I knew you wanted the company. ANNA Please, who are you kidding?   You came along, because you skipped the last four classes and you’re facing academic probation.   BILL This conversation is boring.   Can we switch to a more interesting topic? ANNA Like what?   BILL Like why you won’t go out with me. ANNA Well, you’ve asked me out like for...

Celebrity Name Game

When mom met me up this morning, she was asking me which celebrity was my favorite, you know favorite female actress or male actor. It reminds me of a one, of one of those  party games that are meant to catch you offguard guard. She asked me a bunch of other questions, I answered accordingly. At the end of the game and after I was done using the toilet and eating breakfast… I wished that I would have been able to come up with better responses.  I think I said Jim Carrey and Julia Roberts. Looking back however, I would have changed my answers. Jim Carrey would have been a contender but Matthew McConaughey would have knocked him off of the top spot. As far as favorite actresses go, and still would have been Katherine Hagel, even though her career has been put on hold because of her desire to have a family. Mom then switched to questions that were of a more personal nature. That game reminding me of something I saw on one of my all-time favorite TV shows, Charmed. I think the s...

The End of The Bucket List

Noah finally reached #99 today. The reporter and photographer from the local paper had just left, when I arrived. “ The basket hit the ground safely, I see.”             “Yes,” he replied. “As you predicted, it would have been more fun with my Emilee. All the couple I went with wanted to do was swill red or white, and talk of his promotion. Emilee would have squeezed my hand lovingly and talked about the beauty of the countryside.”             “Well, Noah…They all can not be your Emilee. She was one of a kind. What’s next? I was there at the beginning when you had me write the blasted list.”             He was sitting on the edge of the bed when he looked over at me. Tears rolling down his wrinkled cheeks. “Ah, my boy, I wish I had more time on the clock, more things to tick off.     ...